Of brunches, budgets and bloggers.

Why hello there, blog reader.

I wonder if anyone still reads this blog, besides my husband and my parents. I wonder if my parents still read my blog at all, now that I'm somewhat grown up and rather predictable (*cough* boring). I used to read blogs all the time, trawling them everyday, peeking into windows of other people's lives. Then the whole Facebook phenomenon took over all my social circles, and I didn't need blogs anymore to indulge in kaypoh-busybody-voyeuristic activities. But there are five blogs I still read to this day. They have one thing in common: they are all based on honesty. And because I am constantly immersed in either public relations or social media, both of which always trying to showcase the better side of every situation, real gritty honesty is refreshing. So I read these blogs.

1. iaremunyee: I don't remember how or when I befriended Mun Yee, but I think we met somewhere in our academic social circles in Malaysia so I have her as a Facebook friend. Her status updates stood out to me, and one day she linked one of her blog posts on there. Ever since then, I have been following her blogging journey because she is one of the best writers I've ever read when it comes to love, heartbreak, healing and family. She has another blog called Sek Pau Mei too.
2. Today I Am Suhana: One of my dearest friends in real life and my long-standing business partner, Cynthia blogs sporadically and every time she does it's an honest, funny glimpse into the life of a Malaysian career woman. I have been following her blog for about seven years now, because that's about how long we've been friends for. 
3. A Growing Teenager Diary Malaysia: I've never met this blogger - nicknamed "Wah Bo Lui" (translated as "I have no money") - but he details his daily life so meticulously that I feel like I've met him. He comes from a starkly different background than mine, and for that reason his blog posts fascinate me. He writes about failure, food and family. Some people say that his blog posts are too negative, but I think they are just honest -- and he has the liberty to write so honestly because he is an anonymous blogger. While we have very different life stories, I think WBL's self-reflections of how his academic credentials lead to high expectations that he failed to meet is very relatable. I feel the fear all the time about whether or not I can translate all my years of education into a meaningful career, and not be a disappointment to those who have supported me. 
4. fourfeetnine: Audrey is the wife of Timothy Tiah, founder of Southeast Asia's blog advertising empire. I know, it sounds really intimidating right? But she isn't intimidating at all -- on the contrary, she's the most humble and accessible "celebrity blogger" I've ever met. I've bumped into her at movie theatres in Malaysia, and she even agreed to be one of my interviewees for my undergrad thesis (which was about how blogging shapes the identities of young Malaysian women). Her blog is also very honest and funny, and I can relate to her because she (1) is a noob in the kitchen just like me, and (2) she gets mad, sad, scared, and doesn't try to portray a perfect version of herself on her blog.
5. Xiaxue: Xiaxue's blog is my guilty pleasure. She's funny, sarcastic and doesn't try to pretend to be someone she isn't. I've been reading her blog since I was a teenager, and I hope she never quits blogging because I really want to watch Dash grow up!

My friends often ask me what I'm up to in Austin these days, since I'm spending the whole semester far away from campus. The only things I miss about USC are lobster terragon (thank you, Grubhub, for feeding me through grad school); farmer's market every Wednesday in the quad; and my friends - including some truly amazing professors. Other than that, though, sure the campus is super beautiful but I figure it'll always be there, I can always visit it when ever I travel to LA. (Hopefully I will, because the Harry Potter section is opening at Universal Studios in 2016, haha.)

So here in Austin, I mostly do my work on most days. Even though I'm far away from USC I still have my part-time job, my internship and Directed Research class. I watch Netflix and run errands on other days. I meet up with my friends once every week or couple of weeks. I have brunches with Melody, my stepmom-in-law. I hang out with Darren everyday. I have not, however, had the time to play games. Now that I received my Employment Authorization Document (EAD) card in the mail, it means I can start applying for jobs and legally work in USA. So I'm guessing I'll be even busier and will have even less time for gaming. Sacrifices must be made!

Speaking of sacrifices, I'm also trying harder each month to budget more carefully. It turns out there's a big difference between budgeting for school and budgeting for a working life. With the semester coming to an end and basically school coming to an end, that means my allowance is running out and money is painfully finite. Money is no longer divided cleanly into "tuition fees" and "living expenses" -- instead, it's divided into utility bills, insurance bills, tax savings, maintenance fees (things break all the time!), phone bills, food, gas, entertainment (which will inevitably be a luxury), furniture/renovations (also a luxury, since there's still a lot we need to change in the house but we'll have to go slowly because money is, as I said, finite).

My contract with USC for my 20-hour-work-week job will end in a month, because it was a part of my scholarship award. Graduation is May 15, and I'm feeling the pressure to find a paying job so we can pay our bills comfortably enough to still have savings. The unfortunate thing about jobs in the PR industry (the agency world, at least) is that most of them are internships - and I just can't afford to do an unpaid internship anymore. I used to think "I'll do it for the love of the work, not for the money" but as the realization of what it's like to have car, house, insurance and maintenance bills... all of that realization sets in and I know I'll have to find a middle ground. Don't get me wrong, I have loved the internships I've done throughout graduate school, and I learned so much. But now that I'm graduating with a Master's degree I'm going to try my hardest to find a paying job.

I'll have to start jobhunting in April. It really scares me. I've been monitoring joblists for two years now, so I would be able to keep tabs on what kind of opportunities are available out there for people with my skill set, and it just terrifies me because there's so much competition out there -- and how do I get myself noticed, how do I stand out from all the other candidates vying for the same job? Particularly since I didn't grow up in Texas, or in the U.S. for that matter, how will I measure up against applicants born and raised within a culture the employers share with them? Am I smart enough, approachable enough, good enough to get a decent job? And there's the other question of what kind of jobs do I want? Where can I help the most, which company can I work in where I will contribute the most value I could possibly have to give?

P.S: Went to Rodeo Austin last weekend - it was my first rodeo! Particularly excited me because I always wanted to say "This ain't my first rodeo" and now I can.

Concoctions.

Being a full-time student doing Skype meetings with professors once a week feels a lot like being a stay-at-home wife, because I don't go out to work and my schedule is entirely flexible. I love that I planned my semesters in such a way that I have such an unconventional workload for my final semester. I miss my friends at USC but being able to be with my husband every day is a whole other level of awesome.

I'm still working on my thesis and Directed Research stuff as well as my internship and part-time job, but I do my work from home. It doesn't really feel like hardcore work when you get to do it from the comfort of your cosy nook in the house. In your pajamas. All day.

And so, I've been leveling up my domestic skills. Besides attaining an almost professional level of grocery shopping expertise, I've been braving more recipes in the kitchen. The kitchen is now stocked with canola oil, vegetable oil, garlic powder, flour, corn starch, sesame seeds (I love sesame seeds), shredded coconut, sesame oil, sesame sauce, soy sauce, oyster sauce and Japanese sweet sauce. That's like the amateur cook's starter pack right there.

In the past few weeks I've been trying variations of recipes and improving them a little each time. I thought it'd be fun to document my attempts on this blog!

It all started when I decided to brave the idea of using the little rice cooker my parents gave me in December. It was like opening the wardrobe and discovering the whole Narnia universe.

The very first day I started legitimately cooking I spent several hours in the kitchen. It gets addictive. I made coconut chicken tenders, sticky honey sesame chicken and fried rice. I say "legitimately cooking" because I've already been able to fry eggs, boil eggs and pan-fry chicken before this. I can also assemble sandwiches, but that was a lot less intimidating than working with flour, sauces and maneuvering rice around in a pan.

These are my coconut chicken tenders. Ever since I started making them, I've gotten almost a dozen requests from friends or my husband's coworkers for the recipe. (He brings them to work for lunch and shares them with his office.) So I got the recipe from Paleo Leap, but I didn't use coconut flour because I wasn't going to buy a whole different type of flour for just one recipe (haha) although I did use coconut milk the second time I made this. I also pan-fry the tenders, instead of baking them, because my husband doesn't trust me to use the oven without him around. (I'm accident-prone, he says, and I don't disagree.) 

My version of coconut chicken tenders is far from perfect as you can see in the picture, because the first time I made them I burned the coconut. I didn't realize that chicken took so much longer to cook than coconut does! The second time around I cooked it on low heat, but I still burned the coconut a little because the chicken still wouldn't cook fast enough before the coconut got burned. Next time I make this, though, I'm going to cut the chicken slices thinner so that they get cooked quicker.

I got really ambitious and decided I would make honey sesame chicken with fried rice for Darren. I combined this recipe and this one, producing an untested concoction theory in my little yellow recipe book. Unfortunately I misinterpreted one of the steps and kind of failed with this one, but I think I'll do a better job next time. It made a pretty plate though, haha.

And no, my husband didn't eat sesame chicken with fried rice. :( He said my fried rice smelled like peas, because I accidentally poured too much mixed vegetables into the fried rice, and I don't think he likes sesame oil, so I won't use that next time I try to make fried rice for him. He ended up eating the chicken alone, and I reckon he liked them enough for my first attempts!


My third major cooking attempt was for mihun goreng a.k.a. chow mei fun or fried noodles. It's a very popular Malaysian - or maybe Asian or Chinese - dish, so you can get the recipe here. I used my mom's sauce recipe instead of anything I found online because I love my mom's mihun goreng.

I received countless warnings that this was a really difficult dish to produce, so I was extra careful. It took me 3.5 hours total to make this, but it was so delicious. It's also so full of vegetables and protein that it's got to be healthier and more nutritious for me than any other food I cook! The second time I made this, I was too lazy to use onion and garlic, which resulted in a less tasty and less fragrant dish but saved me work and the hassle of buying onion & garlic (and chopping them!) so it's worth skipping those ingredients. :P

Today I "created" a new dish - I call it "Leftover Fried Rice" because it's made up of leftovers that need to be used before they go bad: vegetables, meats, etc. I guess I could call it "Colorful Fried Rice" instead since it's really colorful. This one has eggs, a variation of honey sesame chicken, peas, carrots, corn, a ton of cabbage and a variety of sauces. I don't have a recipe for this because I didn't follow one... I just kind of made it up as I went along!

I don't like wasting food or food ingredients so I tend to wing it sometimes - like whenever I have leftover flour, I'll just coat some meat with flour and egg mixture and maybe throw in some coconut. This resulted in coconut popcorn chicken that I think I could turn into a real recipe next time. I also hate wasting egg-and-milk mixture, so one time I just poured that into the pan thinking it would make an omelette. It turned into a pancake instead, and it was so delicious.

There's a lot of Malaysian food I miss eating, so I'm definitely going to try and recreate them one by one! I'll keep you posted. :D

Blogilates.

I know January's the month when people usually start their workout attempts, so I'm a little late to the game. But I kinda didn't have any motivation to get healthy again until my husband decided to get healthier with me, and now it's fun because I have a fitness buddy. I guess doing anything alone isn't as fun as doing it with someone else, and I'm just lucky I get to do it with my best friend. So, armed with our Fitbits and an Aria scale in our bathroom, here we are trying to get a little healthier one step at a time.

I'm on the Blogilates 4-week workout plan, so I do a set of exercises each day based on the delightful Cassey Ho's YouTube tutorials. I really like this because it's a different workout everyday, prepared by a fitness instructor to target different parts of your body, and I don't even have to leave the house!



After getting carpet burns though, I decided to buy a properly-cushioned exercise mat. I also got some 3-pound weights so that I could do arm workouts based on Cassey's 6-minute arm video and a low-impact cardio workout by FitnessBlender.



After a couple of days of doing Cassey's pilates tutorials though, I got super duper sore and had to walk like I was balancing watermelons on my head. So I skipped a day and just resumed after that. :P I figure on days that I'm too sore to do a real pilates workout, I'll just exercise with my weighted hula hoop. That's always fun!

On less fitness-crazed news, Valentine's Day was really special for me this year because of two reasons:

Reason #1
My father-in-law got married that day! I really adore Melody, his new bride, I reckon she's the person I'm closest to in the family (besides my husband, haha) and it feels nice to have a gal pal to turn to. :)

Reason #2
This is actually the very first Valentine's Day that Darren and I have got to spend together physically in person. Last year we were apart because I was in school in LA, and the year before that I was working in Malaysia at the time. So this was not only our first V-day as a married couple, it was also our very first one together in person. :) While I agree that it's a over-commercialized holiday that's meant to make people spend money, it just meant a lot to me to spend it with Darren. Other than that, our souvenir from V-day is a huge dinosaur balloon we've kept in the bathroom. I call it my pet dinosaur.

And a belated birthday (cheese)cake for hubs the day after Valentine's Day! Homemade New York cheesecake made from scratch by my favorite neighbor Ana. :D It's Star Wars themed, of course.

Kitchen duty.

When I was in my late teens I would always hang out at my best friend's house, and her mom would always put her and her sisters on kitchen duty. Debone the chicken, skewer the pork, chop the onions, pound the garlic, cook the rice, set the table, and the list goes on.

"You'll never find a husband if you can't cook," she would say, over and over again, to her daughters. "Nobody wants to marry a wife who can't perform her kitchen duties."

Recently I told Darren this, and he laughed because I was the perfect example of how a woman can get married despite being entirely useless in the kitchen. But how common of an example am I, really?

How many women are actually unable to cook for their husbands? Is this something I should feel bad about, is it a responsibility I have to a happy home?

I mean, my husband cooks for me about once a week and happily sets the table and serves dinner for both of us. This morning he was looking up chicken and fried rice recipes online so he could expand his kitchen repertoire.

Archaic wife-in-the-kitchen mentality aside, I reckon that I should learn how to cook, a dish at a time, and maybe someday I'll be able to make a dish that Darren actually wants to eat. It would allow us to eat healthier meals, I think, and save money by not having to eat out or get takeout that much.

So far, I'm able to pan-fry just about anything, scramble eggs, boil eggs, make instant noodles and make sandwiches.

Don't get me wrong, I'm absurdly proud of myself for being able to do any of these things - because not too long ago I was entirely useless in the kitchen. But the thing about being married to someone from a different culture is that your culinary tastes are different too, and there's nothing that I can make that my husband wants to eat. The food he wants to eat, I've never even had before. I wonder if other people have this issue too, and how they resolved it?

Grey Goo.

I can't believe it's already been a month since I last blogged. I guess I've been busy, and life moves at a fast pace - until I fall sick, which is why I'm currently unproductive and thought I'd take a few minutes to update my blog.

After I got married in winter break, I had to go back to USC for the spring semester. It was then that I realized that I didn't need to be in LA for the most part, because the only two classes I have this semester are Thesis and Directed Research. That means no conventional "classes" that are held in classrooms. It was kinda like, errr, why am I back here? I was mostly in my apartment, and I didn't even get to see my friends much because I didn't have any classes with them.

So my flurry of tying-up-loose-ends paperwork began. I got permission from all my supervisors and advisors to stay in Austin until graduation week. So after just three weeks in LA, I flew back to Austin. Darren was ecstatic. He's still ecstatic. Home sweet home!

Now I just have Skype meetings with my supervisors once a week and do my internship and job work from the comfort of my laptop at home in Leander. I cannot describe the joy and comfort of being able to wake up next to my husband every morning, instead of alone in my apartment with no kitchen.

Of course, I always say that life is fair, and good stuff comes with not-so-good stuff too. When I arrived in Texas my husband was sick with a fever and cold, and we both knew that I would probably catch it too. I was hopeful though! But despite my relentless attempts to take vitamins and drink lots of water, I inevitably fell sick just as he started recovering. I felt like crap for the past few days, and now I'm feeling a little better but my nose is all stuffy and runny at the same time. All the same, I'd still rather feel like crap at home than anywhere else in the world.

Oh and I titled this Grey Goo because Darren was at PAX South two weekends ago - that's where he caught his cold, actually - and he got a Grey Goo souvenir. It was a glob of "grey goo" that sticks and slides off walls when you throw it. It's surprisingly fun to play with, until we decided to try the ceiling. Suffice to say that it was really hard to get off and now there's a permanent mark on the ceiling where we threw the Grey Goo. Lmao.

On other news, our green card petition is underway and we're keeping our fingers crossed and hoping for the best. That's another reason why it was more practical for me to stay in Texas than LA, because I would have to fly back a few times for green card processing stuff. It turns out it's really expensive to buy flight tickets on short notice, so we're really glad to be saving the money with just one flight!

I'm definitely excited to vlog about our whole green card process and experience to share on YouTube once it's all done. But for now, I'll start making vlog videos again about our wedding and probably grad school or life in general. I really miss making videos, it's so much fun!

P.S: Speaking of Grey Goo, PAX and the gaming world, I actually started playing Rift after I submitted the first draft of my thesis. I played it for about 3 days and then I got busy again, but maybe I'll pick it up again when I feel better. It was actually pretty fun even though I felt like a noob starting over in a new game - didn't even figure out I had to right-click instead of left-click to pick up items - but I got invited to a random guild and a couple of guildmates helped me out with some gameplay. So that was fun, when I felt a little less lost. :P

"How's married life?"

Most popular question we've been asked since we tied the knot. I don't think we feel much different, since we were already living together before getting married, but I imagine if we did it the traditional way of getting-married-and-then-moving-in-together that it would feel very different. I reckon I'll make a video someday about why I believe that moving in together before getting married is awesome and makes things easier come the big day.

But I do have a blog post today about the top 5 things I've learned since getting married:

#1: Paying property taxes is very much like doing any government thing anywhere in the world - take a number, get in line, wait an hour for your turn. I don't know why I had it in my head that I would waltz up to the tax office, march up to a front desk and hand my check over and be in and out in under five minutes!

#2: It's easy to stop having "dates" after getting married because you live together and feel very comfortable around each other. The local civic center is a great place for Friday night date nights! Darren took me to watch Cirque Dreamz Holidaze there and it was a lot of fun. :)

#3: Don't forget to spend time with your friends. After the wedding it was really easy to stay in our own little bubble, and after having a socializing-overdose with wedding and family stuff, all we wanted to do was stay in until we got cabin fever. However, we were really busy with chores and errands, and more family stuff for Christmas, so we didn't have a honeymoon yet. I'm kind of glad because I didn't lose touch with the outside world, and still spend time with my friends in Austin.

#4: Take pictures. Maybe it's a long-distance-relationship thing more than a marriage thing, but I don't know what I would do without taking at least one picture at each memory we make or adventure we take. I want our home to be filled with photos and memories so we'll always remember what it was like to have fun with each other, just in case someday when we're older we may forget.

#5: The second-most popular question we've been asked is "So when are you guys planning to have kids?" (or a variation: "How many kids are you planning to have?") It's really quite a terrifying question because neither of us are good with babies or kids (cue: picture of me laughing as I made my friends' baby cry when I held him) and we feel like we can't even begin to afford one. I don't think there is a need to rush into having kids or even rush into a decision. I wonder if there are newlyweds or young-ish couples who actually have kids just because their families/communities are pressuring them to. :/ I think people just shouldn't ask such a private and personal question of couples, because you have no idea if someone is fighting a private battle - like what if a couple has been trying to conceive for years but haven't been able to, and they have been disappointed over and over again, or have spent a ton of their savings for fertility treatments?

Christmas 2014

Last month's Christmas festivities were the most eventful I've ever had in my life! I mean, considering that I never really celebrated Christmas until I moved to Texas because my family is primarily Buddhist.

Darren and I went to three Christmas parties!

The first one was a potluck party at his office. SO GOOD.

I even tried tamales for the first time - yummy! One of his coworker's wives made it.

The second party was for actual-Christmas-day in San Antonio at Grandma Evelyn & Grandpa Nelson's.

The third Christmas party was at my brother-in-law's home in Round Rock. This time we had all the kiddos there!

I had a ton of fun wrapping presents for the first time without my mom's help!

Darren and I were in charge of the birthday cake so we got an ice-cream cake in the shape of a snowman's head. Haha!

The $1,500 Wedding Budget Challenge

When I was little, I thought I was going to get married and have babies when I turned 25 - just like my mom did. Of course, life never turns out exactly the way you plan it. So I got married at 26 instead and have no plans for increasing the world population with babies just yet. As I grew older I didn't think I was going to get married this early -- early in terms of the modern woman anyway -- but this felt right. :)


I know I kept a wedding blog to be an info-depository, but now that the wedding is over I don't think I'd update that again. I've updated this personal blog for years, though, so I thought it'd make sense to blog about our wedding here on Follow The Cable.

We had our wedding at Chapel Dulcinea in Austin. We picked it for three reasons:

1. It's free! Remember my $1,500 wedding budget challenge? I totally nailed it, and will vlog about it over time. We paid a $400 refundable deposit to get the spot for December 20 from 3-5 pm, then got the full refund when we showed up for the wedding.
2. It's beautiful. With the exception of poor weather conditions, it was pretty much set up for beauty: an outdoor wedding on top of hill country, with a great view and photo ops everywhere for your guests.
3. The free reception area is a two-minute walk away. I think the biggest price tag for weddings is usually for the venue or the food during the reception. Renting out a venue usually costs a few thousand dollars just for a few hours. With the Canadian Diamond Pavilion right next to the chapel, we got to serve our guests cake and champagne without having to rent out an additional space.

It was a small wedding because the chapel can only accommodate a certain number of guests. We invited 41 guests but 32 showed up on that day. By having a smaller guest list, we had fewer no-shows, which also saved us on the "money wasted" spectrum since our service provider charges by the guest list. And there are always no-shows at weddings!

I used a San Antonio-based wedding service provider called Everlasting Elopements that sorted out the Reverend, florist, baker, photographer and venue set-up/clean-up for us. All I had to do after that was contact the florist and baker to discuss the details of what we wanted for the wedding cake and flowers, and choose the vows.

And here's the big question: did we meet the $1,500 budget challenge?

• Service providers: $736.57
• My wedding dress from ASOS: $140
• My wedding shoes from Macy's: $30
• Darren's wedding shirt, vest, pants & tie: $140
• Engagement photoshoot: $150
• Handmade guestbook: $10
• Handmade hot chocolate wedding favors: $50
• Handmade wedding invitations & Thank You cards: $15, with borrowed tools from Melody
• Hair & makeup: Free & done by my good friend Ana
• Wedding signage: Done by equally good friend Sharon
• Wedding manicure & pedicure: Gifts from our friends Linda & Beth

Total wedding cost: $1,271.57 = CHALLENGE COMPLETED!

Unfortunately, our property taxes and green card application fees are higher than we expected, so the excess money from the wedding budget is merely being redirected to our responsibilities. However, I'm extremely pleased with myself for pulling off a wedding in under $1,300. :D

Our family, which is now a combination of Darren's and mine: Greg, Melody, Nelson, Evelyn, me & Darren, Kayli, Chris, Shannon, Jeannette, Travis, mom & dad.

Our Texas friends: Conrad, Sharon, Ricky, Megan, Doug, Catherine, Linda, Ana & her baby Aidan, Wan, Alice & Mike Fuller with their kids Alexis and Ethan.

My USC friends who traveled from LA & Florida: Vero, Ran, Laura & Cynthia!

Our custom-made Pacman-themed wedding cake. Lemon flavor & delicious!

Strolling into the "sunset" - Photo by Austin Stuart.

Us taking a few minutes before we head to the reception to mingle with guests. Photo by Austin Stuart.

The officiant who married us: Reverend Peter Johnson! Photo by Austin Stuart.

Our awesome wedding photographer! Photo by Austin Stuart.

This is Chapel Dulcinea. Thank you for being free & helping young couples like us afford getting married! Photo by Austin Stuart.

I love this picture because Darren looks so handsome! Photo by Austin Stuart.

And then I ruined his turn of being the focus :P Photo by Austin Stuart.

So glad I got bubble wands for the wedding. The bubble pictures turned out so fun! Photo by Austin Stuart.