Saturday, 3 September 2011


I see you, Mask. This mask we wear, these hollowed-out eyes and painted smiles, this nose that breathes air that is far too heavy for human lungs - this mask we wear over our internal pain so the world stays oblivious to it. Mask you exist knowing the world doesn't care, we are little specks in the universe that barely make a difference to the wheels of life.

Listen carefully, I can hear the wheels chugging, clogs moving, the feet of our souls tiptoeing past true feelings - hoping if it is quiet enough then these Feelings won't hear those footsteps and won't whirl all around and drown us, drag us down to face our worst enemies... our Flaws.

I know I am wrong. I know school-time moral textbooks would dictate me to be filial, to obey, to humble myself and let it go, give in, forget my bullish pride, forget my real feelings and tolerate, compromise - and yet this stubbornly Flawed human in me makes me want to grit my teeth and refuse to give up, even if for a little while and even if I regret it later - and I think to myself, how unreasonable this face is beneath this Mask I show the world, how flawed, how selfish, how undisputably wrong - but this Mask over a Mask keeps me from drowning.

Mask, I see you as I listen to the bad Karaoke singing in the playground at the wedding that I didn't want to go to because it was too hot, and feel the throb in my head and my swollen eyes from having been fighting with my poor mother all afternoon, and the pain of having hurt the feelings of her whom I love so much and the pride that stops me from admitting I was wrong, and wishing it was eleven o'clock and not half past three when I ruined a day that once had a chance of being good.

I see you, Mask.