Wednesday, 4 January 2012

I shall never forsake thee, Academia.

It's a strange feeling, starting to return to the world of academia. In starting to think about an Honours dissertation proposal, knowing tomorrow I will be combing through databases, I feel an eerie sense of excitement. There's nothing that can quite describe the feeling of thumbing through well-worn pages of library books - although everything is in .pdf files now, at least we may have some printed readings or textbooks every now and then - or the hungry digestion of fascinating communication and cultural theory.

I've said this before and I'll say it again, there is immense beauty in the written word. Mathematics and sciences may not be my forte, but theory I can attempt to learn. I may not be able to identify a sparkplug or change my car tyres, but I will revel in academic theories. If I can wrap the loose grains of my mind around a theory, the grip becomes firm and paradoxically tangible - something clicks, and I feel that small but satisfying sense of achievement.

I am not the best student, I am not the brightest mind, I am not a genius theorist, I still struggle and I have to work very hard, harder than someone watching a work-in-progress could even begin to appreciate - but I enjoy academia as much as I enjoy reading, writing, exploring creative ideas and entrepreneurship experiences.

While I think there's more to life that I want to do, I will never forsake my faithful friend, Academia. Our destinies are weaved together for a part of my life still, and learning - even if it's learning from books and articles - is always something to be embraced.

Perhaps someday I will be a lecturer in a university, trying to make sense of these same theories to befuddled students - as they scratch their heads and wonder when in the world will these crazy theories ever be useful in their lives, I'll smile to myself because I know that learning is useful in itself - learning teaches humility. Or maybe I won't be a teacher, armed with a Masters degree I could join the corporate world, whether MNCs or small companies - and there is the possibility that I will discover a new passion in life, that I could revel in the dizzying workforce, so fascinating and full of things to learn. Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be.

P.S: GRE exam looking like it's going to be the hardest exam I will ever take so far. Seeing as I'm not in talks with any official GRE classes or materials yet, just surfing the Internet and blogs and the myriad of strange resources like Cliffsnotes and trying to get a clearer idea slowly so I won't feel so overwhelmed/panicked after a while. Hopefully. Lol.