Saturday, 25 June 2011

Escapism. Where art thou?

Sometimes I don't feel like ever going to sleep, and other times I don't feel like ever waking up. The conundrum of wanting to do everything and wanting to do nothing... being both exhausted and excited... patient and impatient.

Looking at the 542 unread emails in my YSK inbox and knowing the number will just keep climbing everyday, knowing I should answer the emails but yet not pushing myself to start. Knowing I should start writing reviews again, to start surfing blogshops again to update myself on the latest stocks and market prices... to answer Cynthia on her endless string of eager business proposals... knowing it's my responsibility to take the lead again on my own enterprise, but being so damn lazy and tired of a cycle of endless deadlines - jumping from assignment deadlines and exam mugging straight into a whirlwind of YSK deadlines looks so unappealing, I can't push myself to start.

At the same time I'm researching postgraduate options, but finding myself frustrated at unreasonable things like Monash not offering scholarships for Masters degrees. Haiz. California is a nice choice only insofar as pursuing that polyannic American dream - I'd rather go to Singapore where the culture is somewhat similar and the merit-based opportunities are a lot better. But my parents seem so set on the U.S. of A that six months from now I will probably be there instead of here ... they are already handling Visa applications. I'd say fml, but it doesn't feel like my own to start with.

The whole situation is lighting a fire under my butt, and Monash isn't going to reply my email over the weekend. I have to constantly remind myself to take it a day at a time or totally lose sense of direction - which, as we all know, isn't very good in the first place. :P

So today, I will organise my room. I resolve to start YSK work on Monday, 9-5! Lol! I'm not gonna look up universities again until Tuesday, cos I feel super anti- right now so everything looks unappealing. -_- And everybody PLEASE STOP ASKING ME WHAT MY PLANS ARE, because I'm tired of saying, "I dunno. Lol." 

At least there's a nice house party with good friends tomorrow to take my mind off things. :D

Here are snapshots from the past post-exam week - been meeting up with my much-missed BFFs one by one and, of course, shopping! :D Although I'm pretty bummed that I missed Chic Pop today. :(