Stress winds me up very, very tight. Already temperamental by nature, I find myself operating on an intensely short fuse these days. Which is awful, because I'm bound to be taking it out on people around me - especially people I love. :( Sorry.
It's hard to remember what my hobbies are anymore. Especially since I have a self-destructive tendency to turn hobbies into work. YSK is, in essence, the perfect example of hobby-turned-job - even if it is a line of work I'm fiercely passionate about - and now that I've just renewed my contract with John, YSK is going to be a part of my life for at least another year.
So here I am, struggling to keep from losing sight of my priorities. Every procrastinator knows how easy it is to procrastinate from the unpleasant facets of life. The first step is probably learning to deal with frustration.
And here's the ironic part - the only subject this semester that I'm not altogether frustrated with, is Law. Not law like Law School law - for Sartre's sake, no! - but just Media Law. It's interesting, not boring, a little bit challenging but not entirely stressful. The words in the pages welcome me like the warm embrace of a childhood friend ... especially in comparison to the fluidity of current affairs and that strange thing called "the news".
It has helped me to keep from losing sight when I think of Mr Benjamin. Today I read an article about him, and I learnt things about his life I'd never known before - for example, that he came here to Malaysia in mid-2005. And that his path to where he got to, as I remembered him, was all played in the hands of fate. Chance meetings with arts enthusiasts, people in the industry, one friend to another, one article to another - and isn't life a funny little thing? You never know where you're going to end up, or how.
We are marionettes. Except that we feel everything we experience - every prick, every punch, every heartache, every devastation, every joy, every worry, everything. And however good or bad it gets, what matters is our existence - that we make the most of it. That's existentialism for you :)
P.S: I think the monkeys have relocated. And Hungry Ghost Month is coming up!
A Graceful Afternoon in Kyoto City
1 month ago
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