Monday, 28 January 2013

No regrets.

"How do you know you're sure about us?" I asked him.
"I'm sure," he said simply.
"We haven't even met yet. What if we meet and we have no chemistry?" I persisted.
"Then we make each other a promise. If we meet and there's no chemistry, let there be no heartache. You've been my closest friend for the last one and a half years. No regrets."
"Okay," I mused. "No regrets."
"We can't regret two years of happiness," he smiled.
Today I made tears spring to a grown man's eyes, because I invoked the possibility of the end of something special... something that's been the driving force of goals and achievements and hopes in our lives for the past 1.5 years. But the possibility that we may not be meant for each other is there, and I'm so happy we had that conversation. The harsh truth in a long-distance relationship with someone you've never met in real life is that when you finally meet him or her, it may not be what you wanted. Perhaps the castles you built in mind-clouds was a touch unrealistic, perhaps you were in love with a two-dimensional version presented on Skype, FaceTime, IMs.

I would never, however, trade the time I've had with Willi. I've grown so much in just a short amount of time, because this man strengthens my resolve, forces me to grow up, and makes me see things in different shades of grey - instead of just the black-and-white that I've always filtered the world into. He will always be my first great love, and even if it's not the last, it will still have been a great love. We agreed that when we meet, we'll decide if we should be together or not - and if we decide not to continue the relationship, then we'll just be friends... because above and beyond anything else, he is the dearest friend I've ever had. I can make my peace with this. :)

P.S: Mummy's treadmill financial incentive is actually working so far! I've been on the treadmill for half an hour every day without fail, and happily getting paid for it. My clothes fit better, I've lost weight, and I already feel like I have more stamina! :D

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